School of the Ages

News

From Teen Guide -- How do you tell the difference between love and lust?

Posted by Matt Posner on May 6, 2012 at 9:20 AM

How do you tell the difference between love and lust?

JESS:

Lust is very much focused on the physical desires. You crave to be with the person physically/sexually. You might think about their fantastic abs/body/some particular body part or physical feature more than anything else.

Love can be trickier to define—each of us has our own way of describing it. Love goes deep. You share a connection with the person that goes beyond satisfying physical desires. You admire the person for something that goes beyond how good they look or how smooth they are sexually.

Yes, it’s possible to sometimes mix up love and lust. It sometimes happens with “friends with benefits” arrangements. A deep love is often free from tension and drama. It runs on compassion, kindness, and acceptance, and has a positive effect on both people that are sharing the deep love (a genuine love tends to encourage and inspire each person to “be better” versions of themselves, compared to if they were absent in each other’s lives).

It’s lust if two people want to be with each other for the rest of time because they both find each other “hot.” It’s lust if you could hate the person, but still have sex with them because the sex is just so good. It’s lust if all you think and care about is how “hot” the person is (you don’t really care about their personality, and emotional involvement doesn’t feature when you think about the person).

I once knew an old couple. The lady had to undergo surgery when she found out she had breast cancer. She was worried about the operation because one of her breasts needed to be removed, and she feared that her husband would no longer find her attractive. The man replied, “I married you for you, not because of those things!”

That’s love.

MATT:

Lust means the desire to have sex with a person regardless of whether there is a personal connection. You see someone and you think about having sex with that person, and your body responds by getting ready to have sex. Lust is about meeting your body’s need to have sex or about other emotional needs that you have—to feel powerful, or to feel special, or to feel in control. It is a very strong motivation when you are in your teenage years, especially for boys. It isn’t unusual for a teenage boy to go around the school in a constant state of sexual attraction to girls that he sees. This condition eventually passes, and if you get into a sexual relationship that works, then it will go away, and lust for everyone around you will turn into more manageable attraction.

The more connected you are to a person and the more you understand that person, the more lust turns into something else. If you become friends with that person, lust becomes love. If you aren’t compatible with that person, the dislike should make the lust less intense, although you can have strong sexual desire for people you don’t like. If you’re a boy, this happens because lust is partly about feeling in control, and you want her more because having her would mean you had triumphed over that difficult personality. If you’re a girl, you may find that you’re attracted to boys who are aggressive, rude, or rebellious, so called “bad boys.” There is some biological programming that tells you these bad boy personalities will make good protectors. I suppose that successful relationships have come out of these feelings over the years, but if so, only because the lust developed into friendship, commitment, and trust.

Categories: None

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

Already a member? Sign In

1 Comment

Reply JamesVex
1:57 PM on May 13, 2017 
If you have sleep apnea, you need to know that you are not alone. Sleep apnea is fairly common and millions of people around the planet have it. If you have been wondering what a sleep apnea diagnosis means for your life, read on to learn what you need to know about it.

Try using a mouth guard that's custom-fitted for you. These are made especially for those suffering from sleep apnea. If you don't have CPAP, then this guard is an excellent alternative. Also, it's a lot more comfortable wearing this mouth guard while sleeping. It really helps keep the airways clear and keeps the soft tissues of the throat stable.

If you have just been diagnosed with sleep apnea and prescribed a CPAP, join a CPAP support group. It can be quite difficult to get used to sleeping with a mask on your face every night. Sitting in a room full of other people going through the same thing can be very empowering. You can learn from others who have had the same issues you are having and made adjustments to make it work.

On easy way to help limit your sleep apnea is to stick to regular sleeping hours. When you stick to a sleep schedule that is steady and consistent, you will be more relaxed and sleep much better. Apnea episode frequency will be greatly reduced if you can get plenty of sleep every night.

If you are taking a great deal of medicines on a regular basis, sit with your doctor and discuss how they can be reduced. Side effects from prescription medication can be making your sleep apnea worse. Keep a dialog open with your doctor and make sure he is up to date on all your symptoms.

Don't give up on treatment for sleep apnea after one doesn't work. There are a variety of treatments for your condition, so finding the right one is sometimes a process of trial and error. The number and severity of your symptoms influence what treatment is correct one for you. Giving multiple treatments a chance ensures you find the one that works the most effectively.

If you have been diagnosed with sleep apnea, it is important to avoid drinking alcohol. Alcoholic beverages will relax the muscles in your throat, which makes it more likely that they will block your airway during your sleep. At the very least, avoid any alcoholic beverages in the evening before you get ready for bed.

Avoid any type of drugs or alcohol if you are experiencing any type of sleep apnea. Drugs and alcohol will slow down your respiratory system, and that is known to be one of the causes of sleep apnea. If you are struggling with this issue, try to get some professional help to overcome these addictions.

Minimize your risk from the conditions causing sleep apnea. Some sleep apnea risk factors cannot be changed, like genetic or hereditary reasons. But others, such as weight smoking and drinking, can be controlled.

Make no mistake, sleep apnea is one of the most disruptive conditions a person can have, largely due to its ability to rob sufferers of the sound sleep they need to stay healthy. The best way to effectively deal with the condition is to understand it completely. Keep the information in this article handy in order to stay on top of this dangerous condition and reclaim peace of mind.

url=https://www.viagrasansordonnancefr.com/ says...
viagrasansordonnancefr.com