School of the Ages

News

indie author interview: Susan Smith-Josephy will kick Frodo's ass

Posted by Matt Posner on January 27, 2013 at 11:00 PM

This is an interview for Kindle All-Stars 2: Carnival of Cryptids. Seven authors -- seven gripping, suspenseful stories about mysterious and unknown beasts and their deadliness to man -- the Carnival of Cryptids tale itself by bestselling independent author Bernard Schaffer -- and all proceeds to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. (http://www.missingkids.com/)

Today -- Susan Smith-Josephy.


I'm happy to welcome you to my website to talk about your participation in Kindle All-Stars 2. After a few necessary questions, I'll get on to some interesting ones.

Necessary questions

Tell us your name and where you're from and where you are now and what you do when you aren't writing.

 

Susan Smith-Josephy, born in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, England.

 

I live in Quesnel, British Columbia, Canada. When I’m not writing, I might be doing laundry or trying to nap.

 

Tell us about some of your publications besides Kindle All-Stars 2.

 

Book Purchase Links:

Lillian Alling: the journey home

Lillian Alling at Amazon

and on Amazon.ca

I hope you can get sales at Amazon Canada. I'm still waiting for one. Canadian fans, after you buy Susan's book, check out this one.

 

How did you find out about Kindle All-Stars?

 

 I follow a lot of writers on Twitter including Laurie Laliberte @LaliberteLaurie and Bernard Schaffer @apiarysociety and they made the announcement that KAS2 was coming up. So I tossed my hat onto the golden ring.

 

I'm glad you did! That's roughly how I found out about KAS 1, too!

 

Interesting questions

In the following imaginary scenario of trust and triumph, a publisher calls you and offers you a generous sum of money to write a sequel to a book or continue a series by another author. What book or series, by what author, and why?

 

EASY! The Thomas Ripley novels by Patricia Highsmith. Best loved villain, in my opinion. But, also, for the cross-dressing.

 

What is a book you absolutely hate, and why? If you don't hate any books, make up a book you hate and describe that.

I hate Lord of the Rings. Yeah. There. I said it. As the sleeping guy next to me in the movies said: “What was all that fuss about a ring?” Ridiculous story, smarmy elves.

 

I have to disagree about that one (sss, gollum, gollum). What is your favorite phrase or expression in a language other than English, what does it mean, and why do you like it?

 

Honi soit qui mal y pense

 

It means, sort of, “evil to him who evil thinks” and I like it because I’m learning about heraldry and it’s the motto of the Order of the Garter. History nerds unite.

 

Write a quatrain that contains your name somewhere in it.

Yea, verily, forsooth for Susan was her name, oh

She wrotte her lines, and crosseth her tees

Her words trotteth forth, through computer’s glow

And flew they through the ether, thus saving many trees

 

Suddenly you have a new girl child and a new boy child to name. Your spouse will like whatever name you pick. What names do you give them and why?

 

Chaim and Frottet. Old family names. I am NOT KIDDING.

 

Choose one of these characters from literature and describe what would happen if your protagonist fought that character: Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, Elizabeth Bennett, Huckleberry Finn, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz.

 

My protag would wrestle that little bastard Frodo DOWN TO THE GROUND. She’d kick his stubby little legs right from under him before and after second goddam breakfast, that’s what.

 

Pick two cryptids and describe in a sentence or two their battle to the death.

Obviously, it has to be the Ogopogo and the Loch Ness Monster.

 

Nessie comes out of the water with a splash, rising up, her tail supporting her. BANG. She’s down on Ogo’s neck, but Ogo’s having none of that Old Worlde shit, because, he squirms out from underneath Nessie and gets her in a spiral lock. Their humps smershing awkwardly, almost obscene to be honest. Twist, twist, twist goes Ogo’s muscular torso. I say “torso” but he’s just a really long snakey thing so he’s either all torso or all neck. Anyway. He doesn’t give up on his hideous twisting move, but Nessie pulls a surprise! She streeeetches herself and POP, flies out of Ogo’s death grip. But Ogo’s got another trick up his slither, and his nips Nessie’s neck. Hm, felt like a love bite at first, I’ll bet, but soon she realizes “this is it” and starts to cough and roll her goggly eyes. Ogo knows Nessie hates to be above water, and Nessie’s weakening now. Too much oxygen! HA, old Nessie’s down for the count, and dies with a horrible deathly scream. Her body sinks to the bottom of the lake, but later rises, bloated and stinking, much to the thrill of a boat full of German tourists. Ogo FTW!

 

Thanks for being part of this interview.

Thanks for being part of this interview. Buy KAS 2:

Amazon US

Amazon UK

Categories: None